White Star: The force of direction, the original impulse-to-be, propelling into existence, springing forth, is intrinsic, innate, built-in. This original impulse could be called the will-to-be, yet “impulse” better conveys its pulse-like nature. “Will” might suggest thought, intellect, or conscious intent, all of which the force of direction is not.
Me: Sometimes I lose my sense of direction. How can I recover it?
White Star: [Smiling energy:] You cannot recover something that you cannot lose.
But you can imagine that it is lost or never existed. You can imagine anything. When you imagine something, it will be true for you, whether it is basically true or not. This does not mean that if you imagine something to be true, it really is true. Sometimes it is true, sometimes it is not. But if you imagine it, you will experience it as true.
You speak of a “sense of direction.” It is not a sense. It is a force within you. In essence, it is what you are.
Me: My sense of direction is what I am? I’m trying to experience this, but it makes me feel giddy. It’s like trying to look at my face without a mirror.
White Star: Just sit, being [your] direction in life. Being the “inner push,” the “will-to-be.” What happens?
Me: [After exploring this for a few days:] I feel very real when I practice “being direction.” I mean, I feel REAL. It is the same “real” I feel when in meditation I am without thought. But I never before experienced this kind of being real from the perspective of direction.
White Star: You are your direction. You are the impulse arising from the Heart of Divinity, however you conceive of Divinity [put your own picture of Divinity, God, or Ultimate Reality here].
In the midst of daily life, practice being [your] direction. This will help you find yourself, remember yourself, and be yourself. You can also imagine that you have a compass in your heart, and the compass has a needle, and the needle always points true. It always points in the [right] direction and never moves.
Me: But if the needle never moves, how can I know when I’m off true?
White Star: [Smiling energy:] The needle never moves off true, but your attention does. It is during these times that you feel like you have lost your sense of direction. Your [sense of] direction is still there, but you are looking in another direction and cannot see it. It did not get lost. Your perspective did.
The needle is like a very strong magnet and you are like a substance it attracts. You can resist its attraction, but resistance is always futile. You can fight it as long as you like, but you will never be able to beat it. To fight it is like a stone insisting that it is a tree, or a bear insisting it is a frog, or fire insisting it is water. You are free to fight it and suffer and live in misery as long as you wish.
Me: It doesn’t sound like we have a choice.
White Star: Of course you have a choice. You can go against yourself or not. When you go against yourself, you are like an eagle resisting the urge to fly. Imagine that. An eagle fighting the impulse to fly … to express direction. Fighting the urge to spread her wings. Which choice would give the eagle greater freedom—to spread her wings and fly, or to keep her wings folded and walk on the ground? Would an eagle resist the urge to fly? No, short of injury, because eagles follow knowing. Thinking does not tangle up and bind their wings.
From another perspective, it’s true that you don’t have a choice. Yet making the choice you must eventually make is the choice that guarantees your freedom.
Me: All right, I get the point! So if I am an eagle, and I want to fly, but I’m not flying, what do I do next?
White Star: If you are an eagle and you stop fighting against being an eagle, just continue to be an eagle and you will eventually fly. Sooner or later, you will fly, depending on how much inertia you have built up into trying not to be an eagle and how easy it is for you to be in the present and not wink about in the past or future.
The inner light and inner direction are one. The inner light and inner direction and inner knowing are one. All arise from within, from the core of the self. The flame or light or crystal or compass in the heart are one in the same and one and the same. There is really no flame or crystal in the heart, and no compass, but any of these images can be used as doorways into what is really there: direction.
Me: What about purpose and meaning?
White Star: [Smiling energy:] Are purpose and meaning not encompassed by direction? The three are one. The fourth term you have not yet mentioned is “value.” Within direction, you will find purpose, meaning, and value. Within purpose, you will find direction, meaning, and value. Within meaning, you will find direction, purpose, and value. Within value … guess what?
Me: OK. So why did you choose to emphasize direction?
White Star: Why not meditate on it and answer the question yourself?
Me: [Much later:] When I practice “being direction,” it feels like I’m going somewhere—fast. Overwhelmingly fast, like instantaneous. But at the same time, I feel perfectly still. I don’t feel like this is a contradiction, either. It’s like I’m everywhere I’m supposed to be. I am moving along the streaks of white really fast but I am standing still, too. When I practice being direction, I have already arrived at my destination.
White Star: You got it! Yes. At the level of individuality you experience moving, but you are not really going anywhere because you [as spirit-consciousness] are already there.
Direction is a homing signal to bring you [your individuality] back to the still point and an impelling signal to propel you [your individuality] forwards into life. [The “you” I am talking to is the earth-based portion.]
You can fight with direction, but it won’t let go of you. Going against yourself, your direction, takes much more energy than going with yourself, your direction.
I’m blending with White Star Angel to the extent that I can. I feel like a piece of confetti caught up in the air between towering skyscrapers. It’s like being inside black moonstone streaked with milky white. The milky white streaks are highways of light. Moving highways, like escalators, going incredibly fast through the black-gray atmosphere.
White Star sees the earth and all the area around the earth, and everybody and everything, as an intricate light show. The patterns of light are dynamic. White Star is like an essence within the patterns.
White Star is like a higher law of physics. Like all the laws of physics, it emerged with the birth of the universe. Also, like all the laws of physics, it is alive and intelligent, arising from consciousness and order. White Star is a fundamental reality that supports and strengthens all other laws. White Star is like highways of light throughout the cosmos. Magic highways, beams of light; it’s as if we were strung on these highways through the heart, racing into morning, into the dawn.